Night time with Matt

Night time is rarely uneventful for long with Matt.  He sometimes has "Oh crap!" moments when he exclaims during his dreams.  I've come to the point that I've patted his shoulder and said, "it's okay.  I think you're dreaming."  And he will say, "OK", roll over and go back to sleep.  We oftentimes laugh about it in the morning because he vaguely remembers these moments.  Last night was quite funny.  He starts stirring a bit and I knew he was bothered by something.  He then says, "What the hell is going on here?!"  I did my usual routine: pat his shoulder and tell him it's okay and that's he's dreaming.  Then I did something different and didn't want him to think I was blowing off something that was concerning to him.  So I said, "but if you'd like me to help with whatever is wrong, I would be happy to help you."  He then replied, "Well, I don't there's much you can do about the ceiling fan disappearing."  I lost it then and started laughing...so did he.  It was a fun laugh at 2:00 in the morning.

Last night must have quite a night for Matt because awhile later he gets up, puts on his shorts and walks out of the room and down the hall.  A few seconds later he comes back, takes off his shorts and climbs back in bed.  I asked him if he was dreaming, he grunts and falls back asleep.

He's funny when he does this at night.  The disappearing ceiling fan is a recurring one for him...last night wasn't the first time the ceiling fan has disappeared.

In other news, life is routine right now.  Not much new going on.  The weather is changing and we're having wonderful early fall temperatures.  Things are starting to look green outside now...as opposed to brown and dry.  And, I noticed the other night on a walk that the leaves are starting to change color as well.  I love this time of year!!

Life & Zaycon chicken

Life is so crazy right now...most of it is work.  I can't seem to keep up or stay on top of things.  But somehow it's managed.  I am thankful for Temple night tonight.

And I am so excited for an upcoming Zaycon chicken event.  I ordered 40 lbs of chicken last year and between Matt & me we went through all of it.  So, it will be another exciting week of cleaning, pressure cooking and freezing chicken.

We were lucky to have a Zaycon ground beef event.  I ordered 20 lbs that will be frozen.

Guess I should check our freezer and start making some room for this meat.

Dream

I had a dream last night that we had a child...a boy.  In my dream I held him soon after he was born and he had lots of dark hair.  Right after this little boy came, we were told he had a sister who was born as well...a twin that we weren't expecting.  I never saw the baby girl in my dream.  Interesting thing in my dream was that I didn't bear these children - someone else did.  But they were ours.  Hmm...

Texas 2012 Trip

This year for a small vacation, we went to South Texas (San Antonio, Texas Hill Country).  In summary, we floated down the Guadalupe River on tubes, toured Natural Bridge Caverns, went to the San Antonio Riverwalk and the Alamo, went horse back riding in the Texas hills and drove through the hill country.  We went with Matt folks in Texas and really had so much fun with the girls and with Ron & Jody.  It's so brown and dry here in Kansas yet it was just so green in South Texas...unusual for this time of year.  Here are several pictures from our trip.

 This is the Gristmill Restaurant we ate at after tubing down the river.  You can't see in the picture but the river is at the bottom of the trees.  I have no pictures from the river trip b/c we didn't take anything with us.

Abbey & Jody before our cave tour.

 Matt & Lynzee in cave.  Lynzee is pulling one of her dad's typical camera faces.

 Ron, Abbey, Jody & Lynzee in cave.

 One of the many caverns we went into.  It was a very spectacular cave!

 Eating lunch on the Riverwalk.

 San Antonio Riverwalk

 The Alamo...I enjoyed all the history associated with the Alamo, San Antonio and Texas.

 Ice cream after the Alamo.

 Abbey's frizzy hair on our way up to our hotel in the hill country.

 Texas hill country outside Bandera Texas.

 Lynzee waiting for horse trail ride.

 Abbey waiting for horse trail ride.

 Lynzee atop Linus.

 Abbey atop Speck.  When we got back, the wrangler said Abbey was a natural on the horse and that she should take horseriding lessons.  Abbey was very excited about this and immediately called her mom after the ride.  So, we'll see if her mom is able to find someplace for lessons in Oregon.

 The horse ride was a last minute decision so we (the adults) didn't come prepared with proper footwear.  Matt had flip flops and they ended up taking those off.  He rode bare foot.

The Colorado River in the hill country.

 Ron and Jody coming back from the trail ride.

 Matt & me on the porch of the Stagecoach restaurant.  This is a destination restaurant just north of Austin.

Getting ready for the girls...

The summer feels like it is half over already and Lynzee & Abbey still haven't come to Kansas yet.  But, as of right now they are in flight and we pick them up this afternoon.  I've been anxious about having them.  I want them to be comfortable and have a good time with us.  It's only the second summer since all the changes with their Dad (me and a new home).  I'm still unsure about the whole step-mom role and I'm not confident that I'm doing things right.  I seriously have such anxiety about it - am I doing too much?  Am I not doing enough?  If Matt is more layed back, should I just follow his lead?  How much should I plan for them?  Should I feel any responsibility to give them chores (really I'd like Matt to take the lead on this since he feels they should do chores while they are here.  I told him that and he said he would.)  Matt's told me several times that he feels I should be just as involved in parenting as he is.  I'm happy with that - I just know what I'm doing...with teenagers, no less!

After last year's experience with Lynzee watching TV most of the summer (when she wasn't reading a book) and Abbey being stir crazy and so bored, I thought I'd try being a little proactive and have some thing ready for them to do during the day...while their Dad and I are working.  I found an "I'm Bored" jar idea where you write activities, projects, chores, etc on tongue depressors that they can choose when they are bored.  I've been thinking about this for over a month now and finally got things ready and prepared for the jar.  This is it...in a Christmas mug.  Not creative or pretty but hopefully it will serve it's purpose well.  I've also started a Summer Bucket List of activities we can do as a family...waiting for Lynzee & Abbey's input as well, of course.

So, we'll see how things go...I'm excited and it will be fun having them in the home for a few weeks!!

4th of July

Matt & I celebrated a fairly quiet 4th of July.  It was HOT outside so we really didn't want to spend much time out of doors.  So, we went to watch the new Spider Man movie and from there went to the National WWI Museum in Kansas City.  The museum has a Liberty Memorial which is a tower you can ride to the top of.  I has cool views of the city.  The museum itself was fascinating!  I learned so much and given that I really didn't know much about WWI, I had much to learn.  It's a great museum and I highly recommend it to any who come to KC.

Matt at the movie - ready for the show to start.  It was a pretty good show, FYI.

 

 Matt on top of the Liberty Memorial

 

The view from the Liberty Memorial - the Union Station is the main building just below the Memorial.  On the Sunday night before Memorial Day, the Kansas City Symphony  plays a concert to hundreds of people on the hill just behind the memorial/museum.  Then fireworks are lit from the memorial and canons go off as the symphony plays the 1812 Overture.  I went my first year in KC and it was an exciting event.  I think it was the best fireworks show I've seen.

 

The Memorial and museum just below.

Stuff...

So, I'm having a hard time lately living so far from family and keep struggling within myself and my strong desire to live closer and our lives being set in Kansas, for now.  Don't get me wrong - I do enjoy Kansas and the Kansas City area.  But we have no family close.  The closest family is in Dallas and that is an easy trip to make in a day (8 hours) but not one we can do very often.  I love Matt's family and would love to live closer to them or closer to our family in Utah/Arizona.  Matt's desire to live in Utah in non-existent so I don't see that ever happening.  He doesn't have a huge desire to live in Dallas because of the size of the metro area.

A bit more complaining from me...  While I can certainly see the benefits in my life from moving here and I would do it all over again exactly the same, I feel like I'm a different person here than I was in Utah.  I had great friends at work in Utah.  I don't here.  I felt like I belonged in my ward in Utah and had very meaningful connections there.  I don't feel like I have that here.  Many Sundays are a struggle within myself to go to Church...for a number of reasons besides the social ones.  In Utah, I felt like I had come to a point where I was comfortable and happy with who I was.  I don't feel that way here and I struggle with that.  I find myself yearning for that security that I had.  I've talked with my Matt about these feelings and he says I probably haven't lost that knowledge of who I am/was - I'm just on a journey of finding out more about myself.

Anyway, we're staying in Kansas City so I need to stop yearning for things I would like and don't think I have right now.  I've thought that maybe getting more involved will fill the void I think exists.  So, I was recently invited to be a member of the board for the local BYU Alumni Association chapter.  I've never been a huge BYU fan, even when I went to school there, so this seemed like such a wrong fit for me.  I decided to do it anyway.  I'm not sure yet, why, because I can't force what I don't feel.  But I had a great time at my first Board Meeting last week and feel that I can contribute.

If the BYU Alumni Association wasn't enough BYU involvement, I also became the secretary for the local chapter of the BYU Management Society this week.  YIKES!

At work, I was just elected as the Treasurer of Employees Club, I help on the annual Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Fundraising Committee and I've been helping on the committee for the Kansas City Corporate Challenge games.

I volunteered to teach Gospel Doctrine in my ward one Sunday every other month and Matt & I still work in the KC Temple.

None of these alone take much time but all together with everything else...I wonder if I'm over-committing myself.  I don't think I am and will just take everything as it comes.  I realize that if we are able to have a baby, I won't be able to do all this.  But, in the meantime, I'm hopeful that I'll start to feel more connected to this area and make some more friends.

Utah

We were able to be in Utah for a few days early this month and it was such a great trip!  I loved seeing family...just makes me wish more than we lived closer.  But, the memories from this trip will last a long time.

First of all, we flew into Provo for a change.  How awesome was that!  We flew over the mountains, over Utah Lake...probably over Jolene & Ryan's home and Jenny & Brad's home, then did a U turn and down to the airport.  Anyway, I highly recommend flying into Provo over SLC...so convenient to Utah County family!

Some of Matt's family wanted to hike the Y so Matt and I decided to go with them...and bring Jenny and boys with us.  When Jenny asked Ian if he wanted to hike the Y, he said "Hike to Hawaii"?  Hilarious!  I loved the hike!  I enjoyed going with Matt's family and I enjoyed having Jenny, Ian and Will with us.  Ian's enthusiasm for being in nature and hiking was great!  Imagine the rest of us huffing and puffing up the mountain and Ian smiling and saying, "This is so worth it!"  over and over.  I love Ian's love for hiking!  Will was such a good sport.  He enjoyed it too - though we were constantly trying to get him to hike away from the edge.  It's like his body was a magnet for the edge and he just naturally headed in that direction.

Matt's brother's wedding was good and it was fun to have family from Dallas in town.  Wedding was in SLC and reception was in Payson.  This pic is of Matt & his siblings and Matt & me under the olive tree by the Salt Lake temple.

Becky, Chloe and Liam came up too and I had so much fun spending time with them, talking with Chloe and loving Liam.  This is a pic of Chloe in her new Sunday dress.

Sunday we went to church at my ward in SLC (before I moved) and it is so fun go back there and have my friends there be excited to see me.  I wish I had the church and work connections in Kansas that I had in Utah.  I miss that about Utah.  Sunday evening we had all my siblings and Aunt Pat & Uncle Nolan and Aunt Shari & Uncle Jerry come for dinner.  It was such a great evening visiting with family, enjoying each others' company and being entertained by the children.

On Monday, Matt & I picked up his dad, Ron, in Sandy and drove to Grandma and Grandpa Bailey's home in Rupert Idaho.  We had a nice, several hour visit with them and Matt even got to help with some yard work.

Grandma Bailey told us several stories about her childhood and family.  I love hearing family stories.  Her family came from Northwest Arkansas and Central Missouri to the Burley/Rupert area to help plan the canals and waterways for irrigation.  They were not members of the Church and in fact, were strongly opposed to the Church.  Gma Bailey's mother's family from Missouri would throw eggs at the missionaries who came to their small town.  Gma Bailey joined the Church right before she and Gpa married and Gma's family disowned her.  Luckily, they didn't really disown her because she had good relationships with them until they died.  I guess they softened quite a bit to Mormon's as well.  Anyway, great visit!

Tuesday we had lunch with a couple of my former co-workers and then we flew home.  Great trip!  I think this is first time back since moving that I felt I could live in Utah again.  It probably will never happen but I could do it.

Arkansas

For Memorial Day weekend, Matt & I decided to go to NW Arkansas...it's less than 4 hours from home, there are mountains, we haven't spent time there before.  And we thought it would be a fun 1-year anniversary trip.  We were thinking of camping but I was too late to book a camp site so camping will have to wait for another trip.

In summary - we both had such a great time!  NW Arkansas is beautiful!  I told Matt that I could live there.  There are no major airports close - but I could live there.

Day 1 - we went hiking!  That's what I really wanted to do.  If Matt could choose where we went for an anniversary vacation, I think he would choose the beach.  But I choose the mountains and since this trip fit into our budget better it's what we did.  So, hiking on Saturday was in Devil's Den State Park.  There is so much more vegetation than in Utah, of course.  In Utah, you have to get pretty high in the mountains to see so much vegetation.  It was a hot day but we were shaded for the most part and neither one of us had too worry about sun screen...except Matt on his face.  We spent several hours at the park...had a picnic lunch and did 2 hikes.  I loved it so much!!!

There are several caves in the area and in the park but because of a bat disease, they are all closed to exploration.  One cave, Devils Ice Box, was open enough to step down in and feel the wonderful cold inside.

Matt is so good with the timer on our camera and he is great at getting pictures of the two of us.  This is the first one and he ran up to sit next to me but stuck his elbow right in front of my face.  I moved out of the way a little bit before time was up.  I thought this was so funny b/c he had no clue what he had done until looking at pictures later.

Our second hike took us to an overlook and this was at the top.

After hiking, we went back to our hotel, cleaned up, and went to dinner.  The place where the restaurant was reminds me of the The Shops at Riverwoods in Provo.  After dinner we noticed an outdoor concert being set up and sat down to listen for a bit.  It was the perfect temperature & atmosphere and was so enjoyable.

Day 2 - Sunday; We started out the day going to a Civil War Battlefield state park and learned much.  Then we took a scenic drive through the mountains to Withrow Springs state park for another couple of hikes.  This park was okay but I think was our least favorite.  But, still - we were outdoors and hiking which was great!  The second state park we stopped at was Hobbs State Park.  This park is huge and has much more than we were able to see.  Hopefully we get to go back.

Day 3 - Monday; today we spent the morning in Bentonville walking around some botanical gardens and then walking around the grounds of the new Crystal Springs Museum.  Yes - Bentonville, Arkansas is the home of Walmart.  Despite how you feel about Walmart, they have done amazing things in the area.  Crystal Springs Museum is worth a trip to Bentonville alone...and we didn't even go into the museum.  That's saved for another trip.  I can't even describe what it's like there but imagine acres of wooded area with multiple walking, hiking and mountain biking trails running through it.  And in the middle of all of this is an amazing building - which, of course, is the museum.  It's an American Art museum and I would have loved to walk around inside, but it opened late and we were short on time.  And it's free!  So I told Matt I really, really wanted to come back.  We did spend a couple of hours walking only some of the trails that surround the museum.  All this in downtown Bentonville.  And there are several more trails outside of the museum grounds to explore....with houses mixed in here and there.  I loved it!

The final stop of the day, on the way home, was the George Washington Carver national monument just south of Joplin Missouri.  We enjoyed walking around the area and learning more about quite an inspiring person.