Night time with Matt

Night time is rarely uneventful for long with Matt.  He sometimes has "Oh crap!" moments when he exclaims during his dreams.  I've come to the point that I've patted his shoulder and said, "it's okay.  I think you're dreaming."  And he will say, "OK", roll over and go back to sleep.  We oftentimes laugh about it in the morning because he vaguely remembers these moments.  Last night was quite funny.  He starts stirring a bit and I knew he was bothered by something.  He then says, "What the hell is going on here?!"  I did my usual routine: pat his shoulder and tell him it's okay and that's he's dreaming.  Then I did something different and didn't want him to think I was blowing off something that was concerning to him.  So I said, "but if you'd like me to help with whatever is wrong, I would be happy to help you."  He then replied, "Well, I don't there's much you can do about the ceiling fan disappearing."  I lost it then and started laughing...so did he.  It was a fun laugh at 2:00 in the morning.

Last night must have quite a night for Matt because awhile later he gets up, puts on his shorts and walks out of the room and down the hall.  A few seconds later he comes back, takes off his shorts and climbs back in bed.  I asked him if he was dreaming, he grunts and falls back asleep.

He's funny when he does this at night.  The disappearing ceiling fan is a recurring one for him...last night wasn't the first time the ceiling fan has disappeared.

In other news, life is routine right now.  Not much new going on.  The weather is changing and we're having wonderful early fall temperatures.  Things are starting to look green outside now...as opposed to brown and dry.  And, I noticed the other night on a walk that the leaves are starting to change color as well.  I love this time of year!!

Life & Zaycon chicken

Life is so crazy right now...most of it is work.  I can't seem to keep up or stay on top of things.  But somehow it's managed.  I am thankful for Temple night tonight.

And I am so excited for an upcoming Zaycon chicken event.  I ordered 40 lbs of chicken last year and between Matt & me we went through all of it.  So, it will be another exciting week of cleaning, pressure cooking and freezing chicken.

We were lucky to have a Zaycon ground beef event.  I ordered 20 lbs that will be frozen.

Guess I should check our freezer and start making some room for this meat.

Dream

I had a dream last night that we had a child...a boy.  In my dream I held him soon after he was born and he had lots of dark hair.  Right after this little boy came, we were told he had a sister who was born as well...a twin that we weren't expecting.  I never saw the baby girl in my dream.  Interesting thing in my dream was that I didn't bear these children - someone else did.  But they were ours.  Hmm...

Texas 2012 Trip

This year for a small vacation, we went to South Texas (San Antonio, Texas Hill Country).  In summary, we floated down the Guadalupe River on tubes, toured Natural Bridge Caverns, went to the San Antonio Riverwalk and the Alamo, went horse back riding in the Texas hills and drove through the hill country.  We went with Matt folks in Texas and really had so much fun with the girls and with Ron & Jody.  It's so brown and dry here in Kansas yet it was just so green in South Texas...unusual for this time of year.  Here are several pictures from our trip.

 This is the Gristmill Restaurant we ate at after tubing down the river.  You can't see in the picture but the river is at the bottom of the trees.  I have no pictures from the river trip b/c we didn't take anything with us.

Abbey & Jody before our cave tour.

 Matt & Lynzee in cave.  Lynzee is pulling one of her dad's typical camera faces.

 Ron, Abbey, Jody & Lynzee in cave.

 One of the many caverns we went into.  It was a very spectacular cave!

 Eating lunch on the Riverwalk.

 San Antonio Riverwalk

 The Alamo...I enjoyed all the history associated with the Alamo, San Antonio and Texas.

 Ice cream after the Alamo.

 Abbey's frizzy hair on our way up to our hotel in the hill country.

 Texas hill country outside Bandera Texas.

 Lynzee waiting for horse trail ride.

 Abbey waiting for horse trail ride.

 Lynzee atop Linus.

 Abbey atop Speck.  When we got back, the wrangler said Abbey was a natural on the horse and that she should take horseriding lessons.  Abbey was very excited about this and immediately called her mom after the ride.  So, we'll see if her mom is able to find someplace for lessons in Oregon.

 The horse ride was a last minute decision so we (the adults) didn't come prepared with proper footwear.  Matt had flip flops and they ended up taking those off.  He rode bare foot.

The Colorado River in the hill country.

 Ron and Jody coming back from the trail ride.

 Matt & me on the porch of the Stagecoach restaurant.  This is a destination restaurant just north of Austin.

Getting ready for the girls...

The summer feels like it is half over already and Lynzee & Abbey still haven't come to Kansas yet.  But, as of right now they are in flight and we pick them up this afternoon.  I've been anxious about having them.  I want them to be comfortable and have a good time with us.  It's only the second summer since all the changes with their Dad (me and a new home).  I'm still unsure about the whole step-mom role and I'm not confident that I'm doing things right.  I seriously have such anxiety about it - am I doing too much?  Am I not doing enough?  If Matt is more layed back, should I just follow his lead?  How much should I plan for them?  Should I feel any responsibility to give them chores (really I'd like Matt to take the lead on this since he feels they should do chores while they are here.  I told him that and he said he would.)  Matt's told me several times that he feels I should be just as involved in parenting as he is.  I'm happy with that - I just know what I'm doing...with teenagers, no less!

After last year's experience with Lynzee watching TV most of the summer (when she wasn't reading a book) and Abbey being stir crazy and so bored, I thought I'd try being a little proactive and have some thing ready for them to do during the day...while their Dad and I are working.  I found an "I'm Bored" jar idea where you write activities, projects, chores, etc on tongue depressors that they can choose when they are bored.  I've been thinking about this for over a month now and finally got things ready and prepared for the jar.  This is it...in a Christmas mug.  Not creative or pretty but hopefully it will serve it's purpose well.  I've also started a Summer Bucket List of activities we can do as a family...waiting for Lynzee & Abbey's input as well, of course.

So, we'll see how things go...I'm excited and it will be fun having them in the home for a few weeks!!

4th of July

Matt & I celebrated a fairly quiet 4th of July.  It was HOT outside so we really didn't want to spend much time out of doors.  So, we went to watch the new Spider Man movie and from there went to the National WWI Museum in Kansas City.  The museum has a Liberty Memorial which is a tower you can ride to the top of.  I has cool views of the city.  The museum itself was fascinating!  I learned so much and given that I really didn't know much about WWI, I had much to learn.  It's a great museum and I highly recommend it to any who come to KC.

Matt at the movie - ready for the show to start.  It was a pretty good show, FYI.

 

 Matt on top of the Liberty Memorial

 

The view from the Liberty Memorial - the Union Station is the main building just below the Memorial.  On the Sunday night before Memorial Day, the Kansas City Symphony  plays a concert to hundreds of people on the hill just behind the memorial/museum.  Then fireworks are lit from the memorial and canons go off as the symphony plays the 1812 Overture.  I went my first year in KC and it was an exciting event.  I think it was the best fireworks show I've seen.

 

The Memorial and museum just below.

Stuff...

So, I'm having a hard time lately living so far from family and keep struggling within myself and my strong desire to live closer and our lives being set in Kansas, for now.  Don't get me wrong - I do enjoy Kansas and the Kansas City area.  But we have no family close.  The closest family is in Dallas and that is an easy trip to make in a day (8 hours) but not one we can do very often.  I love Matt's family and would love to live closer to them or closer to our family in Utah/Arizona.  Matt's desire to live in Utah in non-existent so I don't see that ever happening.  He doesn't have a huge desire to live in Dallas because of the size of the metro area.

A bit more complaining from me...  While I can certainly see the benefits in my life from moving here and I would do it all over again exactly the same, I feel like I'm a different person here than I was in Utah.  I had great friends at work in Utah.  I don't here.  I felt like I belonged in my ward in Utah and had very meaningful connections there.  I don't feel like I have that here.  Many Sundays are a struggle within myself to go to Church...for a number of reasons besides the social ones.  In Utah, I felt like I had come to a point where I was comfortable and happy with who I was.  I don't feel that way here and I struggle with that.  I find myself yearning for that security that I had.  I've talked with my Matt about these feelings and he says I probably haven't lost that knowledge of who I am/was - I'm just on a journey of finding out more about myself.

Anyway, we're staying in Kansas City so I need to stop yearning for things I would like and don't think I have right now.  I've thought that maybe getting more involved will fill the void I think exists.  So, I was recently invited to be a member of the board for the local BYU Alumni Association chapter.  I've never been a huge BYU fan, even when I went to school there, so this seemed like such a wrong fit for me.  I decided to do it anyway.  I'm not sure yet, why, because I can't force what I don't feel.  But I had a great time at my first Board Meeting last week and feel that I can contribute.

If the BYU Alumni Association wasn't enough BYU involvement, I also became the secretary for the local chapter of the BYU Management Society this week.  YIKES!

At work, I was just elected as the Treasurer of Employees Club, I help on the annual Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Fundraising Committee and I've been helping on the committee for the Kansas City Corporate Challenge games.

I volunteered to teach Gospel Doctrine in my ward one Sunday every other month and Matt & I still work in the KC Temple.

None of these alone take much time but all together with everything else...I wonder if I'm over-committing myself.  I don't think I am and will just take everything as it comes.  I realize that if we are able to have a baby, I won't be able to do all this.  But, in the meantime, I'm hopeful that I'll start to feel more connected to this area and make some more friends.